Indiana Jones and the Magic Box: Why I Seriously Dislike Raiders of the Lost Ark

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I Can't Get Attached to the Characters, so I Can't Get Invested in the Story To be honest, I don't even like Indiana Jones.  He takes the unemotional, "tough guy" archetype so far that I can't relate to him at all.  For example, when he is forced to relinquish the Chachapoyan Fertility Idol to Belloq, he shows little emotional reaction, even though he just escaped death to procure it. (By the way, I'm pretty sure I'd be yelling or crying or both.)  Even during his "romantic" scene with Marion in the ship, he lacks tenderness.  He never tells her that he's been worried or that he's missed her or even that she looks beautiful, leaving him looking simply lustful, instead of caring.

I'm not too much fonder of Marion.  While I want to like her in Nepal, when she stands up to Major Toht's threats without giving away the headpiece that Indy needs, I get frustrated with her damsel in distress moments later.  In particular, I think of when she gets kidnapped and trapped helplessly in a basket being carried on someone's head.  For goodness sakes, it's a basket.  Punch it. Rock to unbalance it.  Do something other than yell, "Indy!"  Surely if she can run a bar in Nepal, she can escape a the clutches of a nefarious basket.

Because I can't get close to either of these characters, I get bored with the story.  I really don't care that Indy is clutching the front of a speeding car, about to be smashed to smithereens or that Marion is being held hostage in the Nazi camp; I'm just wondering how much longer the movie is.

Dracula, Dawn of the Dead, and Charlie Chaplain: Legally Watch and Download Classic Movies for FREE at bnwmovies.com

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Check out Black and White Movies to legally stream and download classic, black and white movies for free.

Eleven Songs from the 60's, 70's, and 80's that are Totally Relevant to the US's Political and Social Climate Right Now

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This post began when I was cooking dinner and listening to Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are a-Changing" (which oddly enough didn't make the final list) a couple weeks ago.  Somewhere in the first or second chorus, (I think I was chopping green beans) I realized that it brilliantly describes the uncertainty, the tension, and the fear that the US has been facing, especially since President Trump's inauguration in January.  That sent me into a frenzy to find other classic songs that had already once captured the seemingly un-capturable moment that we're experiencing as a country, and compile them into a list for you all.  Below, you'll find my list, narrowed down to 11 songs and ordered by year.  Enjoy!  

A NOTE  ABOUT POLITICS AND MORALITY: I am not as liberal as this list is probably going to make me sound; in fact, I am quite conservative in many ways.  I do not endorse everything that each one of these songs says, nor do I endorse the behaviors of many of the groups of people that I bring up here. In this post, I bring up the potential safety and well-being of many groups of people I don't agree with because I fear that their God-given right to loving and respectful treatment (which has nothing to do with their choices or perspectives) is under threat at the moment.

A Note About Trigger Warnings:Some of these songs deal with sensitive and difficult material.  With those that are an obvious trigger danger, I've included a warning in red.

"A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall" (1962) By Bob Dylan Download from Amazon Here

Writer: Bob Dylan
Producer: John Hammond
Source 

To me, a person far too young to remember the 60's, this song represents the trepidation that the US experienced during that era. It captures a deep pain that, like a drum beat, is driving the country toward some impending change - a change that ultimately took many forms, including civil rights legislation and the country's withdrawal from the Vietnam War.  Watching the recent marches and living in a country that is as deeply divided over painful social and political issues as the US was over Vietnam, I feel too that "A hard rain's a-gonna fall."

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Best and Worst: Retro Sonic the Hedgehog Video Games

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Watching Game Informers Super Replay of Sonic the Hedgehog for Xbox 360 (aka Sonic 06) alerted me to a curious fact; both some of my most beloved and hated games have come from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise.  Throughout his lifespan, Sonic has been the star of games of all different qualities.  This got me thinking that it would be fun to play (or in many cases replay) retro games from the franchise and recommend which ones to pick up and which ones to avoid.  So, below you'll find first a list of the games that I think are the best and then the games that I think are the worst.

As you're reading, keep in mind that I haven't played every game in the franchise (Sonic 06 is a notable example of something that probably would have ended up on the Worst list if I had had access to play it), but everything that I've written about I have played recently to see how they've held up.  The exception is Shadow the Hedgehog, which I neither had nor could justify purchasing to remind myself how much I hated it.  I also didn't test any Genesis, Gamegear, Saturn, or Dreamcast games on their original consoles.  Rather, I played the Genesis, Gamegear, and Saturn games via Sonic Gems Collection and Sonic Mega Collection on Gamecube.  Sonic Adventure for Dreamcast, which doesn't appear below, I actually played on Xbox 360 using Dreamcast Collection.

Here we go, folks.

BEST

Sonic the Hedgehog (Sega Genesis, 1991)
This game is a marvel to me. Despite relying on two basic movement mechanics - walking and jumping - it is more engaging than some far more complicated games.  This is due, in part, to the fact that each zone (a set of three acts, including a boss battle, set in the same area) is obviously unique, meaning that game play doesn't get stale.  For example, Marvel Zone is unmistakable in its focus on avoiding spiked falling weights (that look, to me, like chandeliers from a dinner party from hell) and spurts of lava.  While this sounds obvious, some platformers seem to trade sophisticated level design for a focus on creative mechanics or gimmicky power ups.  (I'm looking at you, Sonic the Hedgehog 3.)  The presence of sprawling, multilayered acts also means that players can traverse it multiple times in different ways, keeping us interested despite the fact that we have to play the same levels again every time we turn the game back on.  

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Sega Genesis, Gamegear, 1992) Buy this game from amazon Here I love this game for all of the reasons that I love Sonic 1, plus a couple, namely the addition of  both the spin dash mechanic and the character, Tails.  By adding the spin mechanic, creators solved a huge frustration that I had in the first - trying to get moving quickly enough to follow the loops.  They also provided an easy, strong attack that works on multiple enemies at once, making enemy-infested areas much more efficient to traverse.  Tails, however, I like for a less practical reason.  It's really entertaining to watch him die in random and uncalled for situations, probably because it makes me feel better about my own video gaming skills.

Sonic CD (PC, 1993)
Buy this game from amazon Here
This game is very much in the pattern of Sonic 1. However, what sets it apart is that it allows players to travel in time, swapping between versions of the acts that exist in the past and future.  Because the two different versions of each act are legitimately different, that means that there are, again, multiple ways to play the same act.  The game always provides the Spin Dash mechanic and allows players to save their progress.  

Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (Gamecube, 2001)  Buy this game from amazon Here Sixteen years after its release, this game is still my favorite in the franchise.  Chiefly, I'm impressed with the sense of control over your character that it provides.  Especially when playing as Sonic or Shadow, movement is smooth and precise, in fact, enjoyable at high speeds. I also really enjoy the ease and accuracy of using the homing attacks.  Ease of use is important because fully completing the game is a long process: it involves beating two major campaigns and one optional campaign that may require replay of earlier levels, as well as as the hatching and raising of small creatures called chao. - all of which would be tortuous if you were fighting the game the whole time   That being said, I also appreciate the fact that the game is split into hero and villain campaigns, which provides opportunities to flesh out the villains and make them relatable.

WORST 

Sonic 3D Blast (Sega Genesis, Saturn, PC 1996)
Buy this game from amazon Here
While I have to commend Sonic Team for attempting something new and difficult when they made
this game in 3D, it gives me a headache every time I play.  It's also frustrating to navigate; for some reason I cannot seem to jump where I want to in the air and am perpetually trying over and over again to collect rings or other items.  Innovation aside, I also dislike the whole premise of the game.  It asks you to defeat robots and liberate the cuddly woodland creatures (flickies) within them, which you then must lead to designated goals throughout the level.  This is frustrating because leading a group of tiny animals around forces you to move slowly and precisely around obstacles that might hurt the flickies, (causing them to leave your group and wander off) when all I want to do when I play a sonic game is move quickly.  Sonic games are supposed to be about speed.  Another frustration of mine with this game is that when you drop rings from getting injured, they disappear so quickly that they are very difficult to recollect.

Sonic R (Sega Saturn, PC 1997) Buy this game from amazon Here This is the worst game I tried, which is unfortunate, because the premise had potential.  It simply asks players to choose a Sonic character and then race the others on foot.  However, character handling is a mess.  Even though I played this game with a joy stick on a Gamecube controller, which, in theory, should have been more precise than the originally intended Sega Saturn D-pad, I still failed to keep my characters on the easiest track.  And weirdly enough, this is all happening at snail-like speeds.  In fact, Amy, the one character who actually drives a car and so you'd think would move more quickly, moves more slowly than the rest.

Shadow the Hedgehog (Xbox, PS2, Gamecube, 2005)  Buy this game from amazon Here I didn't have to play much of this game to know that I am fundamentally against it.  They took a family-friendly character that I very much liked after Sonic Adventure 2 Battle and made him the star of a third-person-shooter, requiring players to kill humans.  This goes against almost everything that I like about Sonic games - especially their traditional focus on robot violence instead of human violence.  While I suspect that Sonic Team was hoping to grow their games up for a maturing audience, in my opinion it was a stupid move because it risked alienating players who don't appreciate violence against humans.

Sonic and the Secret Rings (Wii, 2007). Buy this game from amazon Here At 10 years old, this game was the newest that I tested and one of the worst.  (FYI, I consider 10 years old and older to be retro for this blog.)  The story was terrible; it asks you to enter into an adaptation of Arabian Nights and save the story before it is erased by a villain named Erazor Djinn (the pun, oh my goodness).  The game mechanics are even worse; by default you are propelled forward and must use imprecise side-to-side movement, as well as labored backwards movement and a very picky homing attack (which actually makes my arms tired to use) to endlessly replay a series of forgettable worlds.  While Sonic does get easier to control as you unlock upgrades, I think it's wrong to have to earn the right to a decent playing experience.

Final Thoughts
With a few exceptions, the older games are far superior to the newer ones.  If you're looking to invest in some retro games, I'd focus my attention on the Genesis games.

Also, Sonic games have an inexplicable liking for ancient ruins and casinos.  They seem to appear in almost every game.

And finally, don't try this experiment at home, folks.  Rapid Fire testing all of those Sonic games just about destroyed my decades-long love for the franchise.  In fact, I don't want to play another Sonic game for at least ten years...

Note: Game launch years are from respective Wikipedia pages.

Please follow Retro Reviews on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/retromediareviews/ to keep up to date with my latest retro recommendations.

Other Posts You Might like:
Four Reasons to Pull WarioWare, Inc Mega Party Game$ for Gamecube out of the Attic (Hint: Because it Might Just Make you a Better Gamer)
Revisiting Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories for PS2

Alert! Classic Kids/Family Movies that are New to Netflix

Just in case you haven't seen or heard Netflix is streaming three classic kids/family movies that you might be interested in.

-Babe

-Balto

-Balto 2: Wolf Quest

Legally Blonde and Nine Other Girl Power Movies that are Perfect for Valentine's Day

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I'm not against Valentine's Day, but sometimes it communicates to people that they aren't complete if they aren't in a romantic relationship.  This is, of course, a problem if you're single, like I am, because the day can leave you feeling lonely and inadequate.  However, I also think it's a general cultural problem as well.  Telling anyone (single or coupled) this, is to encourage them to seek/retain a romantic relationship to the destruction of other things, such as other types of relationships (familial relationships, friendships, etc) or their own abilities and dreams.  It can tell people that it's better to take on traits to impress potential/current partners than it is to be your vivacious, intelligent, outspoken, etc. self and single.  (I think of the intelligent woman who "plays dumb" to impress a man who likes feeling more intelligent than the person he dates.)  I would imagine that men experience this pressure, but I know from experience that many women do.  Many women see their worth as being wrapped up in their significant other or lack thereof, and I wish it weren't that way.  

In light of my dream that women will not be valued based on their relationship status, I've rounded up a list of 10 movies that include romance, but also feature a female protagonists who can use their particular brands of strength to move mountains, destroy stereotypes, and change the world.  I think they're perfect for both satisfying the "love" aspect of Valentine's Day and encouraging women to remember that they're capable and valuable regardless of whether or not they have a love interest.  To help you quickly find what you want, I've divided them into the following three categories: Live-action, Animated, and Teen Movies.  So please, grab a friend or a boyfriend/husband, or just a comfy blanket and watch one of these for Valentine's Day.

And guys, I'm sorry I'm leaving you out with this list.  You deserve a list of films about men who don't need romantic relationships to be valuable, but I don't think I know enough about being male to put together anything meaningful.  If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them in the comments, though.  If I get enough suggestions, maybe I'll compile them into a post, too.  


LIVE-ACTION MOVIES

Legally Blonde (2001)  

When sorority president Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) is dumped by her politician-in-training boyfriend, she enrolls in Harvard Law School to prove that she is exactly the kind of girl who will help his career succeed. She ends up proving that she is an intelligent, capable woman who needs neither a man nor her valley girl persona to help her take on the world. I love watching the main character ditch the sorority girl stereotype and become a Harvard Lawyer, which still managing to keep her flair for the feminine and flamboyant because it shows that women can be whatever they want to be without sacrificing their personalities.  I also love this movie because the romance element, though present and very sweet, is played down; it seems that the creators are trying to prove that Elle, and by extension all of the female viewers, shouldn't define success by their relationship status because there are more important markers, including their careers and moral strength.   Information from IMDB page, available HERE.

Flash Music Recommendation: Collide by Skillet

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Hey everyone, I'm just writing a quick post to share an album that has really been resonating with me - Collide by Skillet. For those of you who are new to the band, they are what I think of as a Christian cross-over band, which means that their music has definite Christian themes in it, but they often aren't so obvious that secular stations refuse to play the songs.  (Other bands that fall into this category that you might recognize include Thousand Foot Krutch and Switchfoot.)   Their genre is really hard to nail down.  Some of their albums feel more rock, some of them more metal; some of them you could even argue venture into symphonic metal.  I would put this 2003 album (iTunes) right at the intersection of hard rock and metal.

 That is probably why, in the past, I haven't liked is quite as a couple of their albums that are a little newer - Comatose and Awake, in particular.  Comatose is more musically complex than Collide, drawing on vocal elements of metal, but still relying heavily on electric cello and violin.  Awake, on the other hand, is a bit less "hard" and more hopeful.

Four Reasons to Pull WarioWare, Inc Mega Party Game$ for Gamecube out of the Attic (Hint: Because it Might Just Make you a Better Gamer)

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In 2004, when Nintendo's WarioWare, Inc Mega Party Game$ hit the shelves in the US, there was nothing quite like it. What made it unique, and what still sets its franchise apart, is its micro games. They are miniature games of 4 seconds or less, that ask you to quickly and accurately complete tasks ranging from the sports-based to the truly bizarre (Mario Wiki). The game has both a single player mode, requires defeating sets of 25 micro games (including a boss level) and a multi-player level, which is equipped to handle up to 16 players at a time in some instances..

I loved this game as a young teen and recently pulled it back out to test it, wondering if I'd still enjoy it. I wasn't disappointed. It's fun and I highly recommend for four reasons, that I explain below.

It upends what we think of as worth making a video game about.

Very often, games are about things that seem “important” or exciting - saving princesses, winning races, building cities, winning wars, obtaining money or glory. That is not the case with WarioWare. The bulk of the focus is on those micro games, which are not long enough for performing the traditional tasks, and so, instead depict the mundane or even bizarre. They ask you to a pick nose, brush teeth, shave a head, drive a nail, and many other things that you probably never expected to do in a video game. This is fun, because it's different, and also because it's a bit philosophical. It begs us to consider if the small things deserve more attention. Should I be pondering the significance of my morning cereal bowl? When was the last time I actually paid attention to a head of lettuce?

An Animated Movie About the Nuts and Bolts of an Unjust Society: 20th Century Fox's "Robots"

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Call me weird, or whatever other adjective you like, but I really love it when movies or TV shows make a broader social/cultural/political point. Yeah, I want to be entertained, but most of the time I also want to feel like I've walked away from a piece of media with a little more perspective on life. That's why I love that Doctor Who practically screams about the value of the everyday person and that Marvel's Agents of Shield uses Daisy/Skye's powers to symbolically discuss how people relate to their own emotions. I was thrilled, then, to re-watch Robots (I was a young teenage last time) and discover that, despite being an animated movie with the requisite eight-year-old humor, it is solidly about socio-economic issues (such as corporate responsibility, the flaws in the medical industry, etc.). I'm recommending it this week because its totally entertaining, but still uses an imaginary setting to help its viewers better understand the world they live in. In this post, I'll begin with a synopsis of the movie and then dive into a couple of the topics I found most interesting.

Synopsis 

This 2005, 20th Century Fox movie (Rotten Tomatoes) follows Rodney Copperbottom (voiced by Ewan McGregor ), a poor robot with a huge dreams – to sell his latest invention to Bigweld Industries, a corporation owned by Bigweld (voiced by Mel Brooks), who is dedicated, above all, to making every robot's life better. However, when Rodney gets to the city, he finds that Bigweld has retired and a young executive named Mr. Gasket (voiced by Lowell Ganz) has taken the company's reigns. Mr. Gasket's aim is not to help disadvantaged robots, but rather turn them into scrap for profit. Rodney and his friends, including Fender (voiced by Robin Williams), Piper (voiced by Amanda Byne), and Lug (voiced by Harland Williams) must stop Mr. Gasket's nefarious plot before they all go to the chop shop.

Alert! Christopher Reeve Superman Movies Now on Netflix

Happy New Year! 

In case you haven't heard, Netflix (the U.S. version, at least.  I'm not sure how it works in other countries) is streaming all four of the Superman movies with Christopher Reeves starting today. 
-Superman
-Superman II
-Superman III
-Superman IV Quest for Peace

They've also included Superman Returns, a 2006 movie with a different lead actor. 

I really remember liking the first couple movies, so I think this is exciting. 

Are you interested in a post about one/multiple/all of these films?  Please let me know in the comments.  

Start your New Year with a Show that Promises Hope for all of Man(Woman/Child/Android/Klingon/Non-carbon-based life form) Kind – Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 1

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For the less cynical of people (I wouldn't technically include myself in this group), the New Year is synonymous with a fresh start. It inspires resolutions for better health, better habits, better relationships, and better lives, in short, hope for better. For me, no TV show epitomizes this hope quite like Star Trek: The Next Generation. Admittedly, I've only seen the first season (I'm not really a Trekkie, though, after watching this season, I'm seriously considering becoming one. I've even created a Star Trek board on Pinterest.), but it alone draws us deeply into a world that is advanced, actually exist, though one can hope), but because the creators of this show have a beautiful dream for a beautiful existence, and dreams reflect people's values and goals. There is hope for a world in which people, despite their mistakes, hope for and strive for the things that are right and good. To me, that hope is what makes this retro show the ideal series with which to start the new year. Stick around and I'll explain a few reasons why the values and achievements of this brave new world inspire hope for a better future.

not only technologically, but socially and culturally, too. The Federation, which is an alliance of different planets and races, represents incredible understandings of medical science and psychology, as well egalitarianism and value for life, to a degree that would have been unprecedented during the late 1980's when this show first began to air, and is is still unprecedented today. As I watch the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise journey across the galaxy under the command of Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his right-hand man, Commander William Riker, I feel hopeful for the future. Not because I necessarily think that the future will evolve the way it does in the show (somehow I doubt that Vulcans will actually exist, though one can hope), but because the creators of this show have a beautiful dream for a beautiful existence, and dreams reflect people's values and goals. There is hope for a world in which people, despite their mistakes, hope for and strive for the things that are right and good. To me, that hope is what makes this retro show the ideal series with which to start the new year. Stick around and I'll explain a few reasons why the values and achievements of this brave new world inspire hope for a better future.

Three Reasons to Watch “Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas” This Year

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Growing up, there were two Christmas movies I have to watch every year: Tim Allen's The Santa Clause“The Santa Clause" and this one, Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas. There's no point in talking about “The Santa Clause' since stations play it on TV every year. However, since Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas is less common, even though its on Netflix, I thought it would be fun to talk about three reasons why I recommend this fun kids movie to kids and adults alike. Background This 66 minute Disney film, which premiered in 1999, is divided into three separate stories that are united by narrative sequences and a musical finale.

In the first segment, “Donald Duck Stuck on Christmas” the selfish Huey, Duey, and Louie's wish that it was  Christmas everyday is granted, but turns out to be a lot less fun than they imagined. In order to return to normal life, the boys must find the true Christmas spirit and a little love for others.

In the second segment, “A Very Goofy Christmas,” the grumpy neighbor, Mr. Pete, convinces Max that Santa Clause isn't real. Goofy tries, but with his typical clumsy flair, still fails to prove that St. Nick exists, that is until he gets a little help from a friend.

The third story is based on O. Henry's “The Gift of the Magi,” and follows Mickey and Minnie as they strive to afford gifts that truly express their love for each other.

I admit that the premises of each of these stories is a bit cliché, but the execution is fun, nonetheless. There are three reasons I think you should watch this move this year, whether you're a kid or not.

It's as Good as You've Heard - Avatar: The Last Airbender

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Since the broadcast of it's sequel “The Legend of Korra,” Avatar: the Last Airbender seems to have spiked in popularity. Pinterst is jam packed with posts about its characters. Tumblr is host to hoards of gifs, images, and jokes, based on the show. And I must admit that I was skeptical. How could a little kid's show live up to this level of popularity? Surely, everyone was seeing it with nostalgia-colored classes, enjoying a trip back to their childhoods when they thought about the showing. My sister finally talked me into watching it, and well, I was wrong. It was as good as they see it is, maybe better. I'm here to tell you that it really as good as people say it is.

Background:

This Nickelodean animated fantasy series, which played from 2005-2008, is 62 episodes long and is broken into 3 books. It's rated TV-Y7, which surprises me because it's fairly heavy in the violence category. However, there is no blood, gore, etc. There is, of course, no bad language, and little to no crude humor. However, it takes a lot of elements from Eastern religion, so viewers who might find that offensive should be aware.

The Plot:

This show is set in a world divided into four nations – the Earth kingdom, the Fire Kingdom, the Air Kingdom, and the Water kingdom. Select people from each kingdom can bend, or control, their respective elements. The Avatar, who is the only person who can learn to bend all four elements, 9is entrusted with the job of keeping balance, safety, and peace in the world. Our TV show opens when a brother-sister duo from the Water kingdom, Katara and Sokka, discover 12-year-old Aang, the latest reincarnation of the nearly immortal Avatar, frozen in the ice. He emerges into a world that is 100 years older and now at war; the Fire Nation has been conquering each of the nations. He and the brother-sister duo set out to help Aang to learn to bend all four elements, so he can stop the Fire Nation before they take complete control.

Revisiting Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories for PS2

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I'm not sure how long I've had Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories for PS2, but until recently I had played it little. In fact, I don't think I even completed the first world, Traverse Town. I'm not sure why; perhaps the time just wasn't right. However, I set my PS2 up and pulled the game out, and now

after a couple of weeks of playing it, I'm excited to finally review the game for you. In this review, I'll provide some background information on the game before talking about its story line, game play, graphics, music, and major theme. Finally, I'll end with my recommendations (spoiler alert: I strongly recommend this game) and links for buying online. Before we begin, I think a disclaimer is in order, though. I am a casual gamer, so my perspective on the game may be pretty different than that of someone who is more serious and experienced.

A Blast from Christmases past: “Nick Picks Holiday” Review

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While I was nosing around Wal-Mart a couple days ago (doing a little grocery shopping, a little gift shopping, a little window shopping), I came across this beauty : “Nick Picks Holiday,” a DVD of seven old school Nickelodeon Christmas episodes for just under $4. In tribute to the hundreds of happy hours I spent watching Nicktoons when I was a little kid, I had to pick it up and make its review the post with which I launch my blog. I'll begin by giving you the basic run down on the DVD. Then, I'll talk briefly about each episode before summing up with my thoughts on the product as a whole.

Product Specifications: According to the description on the back, it is 172 minutes or 2 hours and 52 minutes long. That being said, a significant portion of that time is taken up by beginning and end credits. The collection first hit shelves in 2006 and, unsurprisingly, is not rated.